White Boy Can Dance

Some Girls Do!

Dedicated to Nancy

Some Girls Do by Sawyer Brown

Got a joke for everyone.

Question?
What did one saggy boob say to the other?

Answer:
We better perk up or people will think we're nuts.

Uranus, hahahaha

She nagged me and tagged me so I did it and I'm a child of uranus, hhahahahah!





What Planet Are You From?


this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim

My Blog

Forgive me Bloggers, for I have sinned. It has been a crap-load of days since my last Blog. Hope you all still know who I am.

Cowboy Joke By Me

I want to warn you before I tell you what happened last night at a large department store, this could sound very crude if your mind is in the gutter...

Nancy was shopping and as always she drags my ass with. The store was fairly busy with lots of women dragging their better halves with...We are walking through the hat department and Nancy picks up a cowboy hat and plops it on my head...I turned to her and said in my outside voice..."Hello ma'am, are you planning on taking me home and showing me your spread?" A couple of guys started to laugh, but the look on Nancy's face as she turned 1000 shades of red was priceless.

I want to tell everyone just how much I love Nancy. She did the last post all out of love. She spent hours on it. I think it is absolutely beautiful. I even shed a tear or two. Thank you Sweetheart for all your hard work.
On Wednesday the 22rn, it will be our 4th anniversary. Four wonderful years with the love of my life. And my best friend.
And, so, because of this day, I have a joke for everyone.

Question: What is a Honeymoon Salad?
Answer: Lettuce Alone!

Sorry, forgot a joke on earlier post. Here goes.

Indian With One Testicle
There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked every one not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! What is the moral of this story.......................oh, come on... take a guess!
You're going to love this! You can't kill two birds with one stone!!!

Nancy or Zoe?

Nancy is pissed. She's pissed at Zoe. I may have to choose, Nancy or Zoe? Zoe let's me stick her head in my mouth and other dumb stuff, she entertains me. She doesn't argue with me and I'm always right.

Nancy washes my underwear.

Zoe greets me at the door when I come home from work.

Nancy trims my ear hair.

Zoe sits with me and watches Nascar and is quiet.

Hmmmm, what's a guy going to do?

Zoe has never destroyed anything of mine, or dropped anything of mine down the drain or flushed anything of mine down the toilet, she's done all of these things to Nancy.

Zoe really screwed up yesterday and made herself at home in the middle of Nancy's nicest plant, and I have to add it was a plant from RJ's funeral. RJ would of understood Zoe's need to do this and she would of thought it was funny, she loved cats. Zoe also got into Nancy's Eagle feathers that she uses to pray, for that alone she wants to make a skinned rug of her.

Zoe takes after her Dad, she's bad to the bone, and I like that in a cat. Nancy on the other hand could hand you a new asshole before you realized it was gone, I've seen this woman annihilate a person for wrong doing and I like that special quality in her.

The two girls I love can't get along. What the hell am I going to do? Nails are out and drawn and the fur is gonna fly.

Time for a ice cold Coors

I wonder what Zoe's thinking......http://theworldaccordingtozoe.blogspot.com/

I'm OK

This was taken after Dad's and me did our trick, you have to understand the man, that is how he plays with me, by teaching me tricks. My reward was kitty crack, AKA: Pounce

I'm Hungry

This is me and Dad screwing around, it makes Mom nervous but I think it's a cool trick, a reversal of man in lions mouth.

Today's joke: Where do Eskimos keep their money?

answer: In a snow bank!

Today's post brought to you by Zoe and Dad

Check out Scooter! Click your cursor on him and he barks. He likes to follow the cursor with his head. Also, click on box to get a doggy treat. He'll follow it. Then bring treat to the top and click mouse again. He's a hungry little shit. Speaking of; he may not be house broken yet, and it will be on your 'puter. LOL

What did the fish say when it ran into a concrete wall?

Dam!

Just a quick note. It's Friday night, late, and I have to get up in a few hours to go to work. I hate to work Saturdays. I would rather go out and play. I want to be a kid again. Have hair, and have my mother yell at me to get the hell in the house cause it's raining out. Oh well, bed time.

Just remember, a crowded elevator smells totally different to a midget.



Me as a kid.

A Man

A man walks into a Bar..........Ouch!

Ok. It's short and stupid, what can I say. I'm doing this solo. My better half is still sleeping and I have to leave for work. Jokes and good times helps this old man feel young at heart. You have to laugh. I think it's a law. If not, it should be. There are too many cranky people in this world. It is our job to make them smile.(course, we don't get the big bucks). So next time you tell someone to "Stick it up your A**, Smile at them. It will drive them crazy.
Peace Out

What Do You Get

What do you get when you cross the Pillsbury dough boy with a blonde? Answer: A whiney bitch with a yeast infection


Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under you vehicle... From the NORTHWEST FLORIDA Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

I Told Nancy

I told Nancy I need my space and she gave me this blog.